“What the world needs now” is Admiral Stockdale... If it’s too loud, you’ve got too much tinitus... My gramma fell asleep under a sunlamp and has a flight tomorrow morning: Hey Homeland Security, give ’er a break!... If you wanna know where the bits of gold come from in the bottom of Goldschlager, check out Academy Award-winner "Shindler's List"... What’s your favorite mixed nut? Mine’s gotta be Lenny Kravitz’ right one... I kinda wish chivalry *were* dead: I recently put my coat over a mud puddle for a distressed lady – turns out there was a pothole under it and she broke her ankle in two places. Bitch sued me... Hey folks, Starbucks calling small a ‘venti’ is like me calling a Hummer a hummer... Neon lights – is it the color of the glass or the color of the gas?... I drank a Chardonnay last week with lipstick on the rim – sorry, but I guess I’m no longer single... I’d like to see a fight between Congresswoman Barbara Boxer and Native American City Councilwoman Wanda Hits Below The Belt... Sure, the Bahamas is third-world, but when’s the last time you enjoyed a refreshing Tunisian Mama?... Note to Phil Collins post-Live Aid: Your drumming is 8th grade at best... Things that make you go WHOOP: sitting in a meeting and inadvertently smelling your palm and wondering where the fuck you’ve been lately...
Posted by gwarbot at 5:04 PM