2.12.2005

Here's What! Vol. 3

Workshoppers! Leave it to your pathetic neighbor to steal your thunder: Have you heard they’re accepting applications for the Missouri Scribes Roundtable?... I just wish someone had told me Hendrix was black... May I introduce the variable "or mess in your pants" into the duality of 'shit or get off the pot'?... Move over Peyronie's Disease, there's a new bent vagina in town!... Folks, we just got the Worst Sound Ever winner: Repeated use of a tape roller to tape up boxes... Hey, how do you pronounce Laphroaig, anyway?... *sigh* – Another Valentine’s Day, and I doubt I’ll even get finger-banged... NBC back in court: blindfolded and ball-gagged, a “Fear Factor” contestant dies after being dipped naked into Jersey City untreated sewage, lashed, and set aflame... Awww shniz, my precious Inner-Earth Hoan G’Tay Sho! I just got back from a looooong "trip" to Rivendell (wink wink)... OH GOD! Here it is mid-February and I was supposed to drink whiskey through the winter! FUUUUUCK... So do ya think Michael Jackson will “beat it”? And by it I mean the rap. And by the rap I mean Bubbles’ hot quivering meatus?... Now here come the copycat cases: I guess Webster is accusing Gary Coleman of a 1983 Dirty Sanchez incident... When they came for the lactose-intolerant, I said nothing. And I’m glad I didn’t… Sure, girls may now surpass boys in classroom achievement, but do you know what boys surpass girls at? Upside-down-in-the-closet-masturbating-with-a-leather-belt-around-our-necks…

3 comments:

Jane said...

Whoah.

Grendel said...

"Here's What!" seems to be getting darker... This is Larry on a bad bender in Vegas.

Stevens Tania said...

Are you suffering from pain and having a hard time satisfying your partner? - Peyronie’s disease is a condition considered as form of impotence (referred to as erectile dysfunction) resulting the penis to bend during erection. It is characterized by the appearance of a hard, fibrous layer of scar tissue (plaque) that usually develops under the skin, on the upper or lower side of the penis. http://www.levitrabliss.com/