So this was my entry -- I can't find out who won, but I'm guessing I have lost yet again. The last thing I won was a chocolate Easter bunny at the church Easter egg hunt when I was 6. It was hollow. If losing this contest doesn't prove that an Iowa MFA and $1 will get you a cup of coffee, I don't know what does.
My entry (almost all of the phrases are GBV song titles):
Near Huffman Prairie Flying Field, in the House of Queen Charles Augustus, the exploratory rat fink committee tested their fresh threats, salad shooters, and zip guns everyday on glad girls, dusty bushworms, a dungeon of drunks, and even Bozo the fucking clown -- eventually, Little Jimmy the Giant was the last punk standing, alone, stinking and unafraid, in his burning flag birthday suit and glass boots, growling "Hey, Baby, if you think it's easy, like I do, what about it?"