Ha ha! It's summer, and nobody is reading blogs. And we're going on a holiday next week to that most Thanksgiving of countries, Turkey.
I freely admit I pick my nose and pee in the shower.
I stick out my tongue! Bleh!
(Yet I put my pants on two legs at a time.
Really. I sit on the bed, heft them up, and jam both feet into them. It's easy.)
I dreamed last night that my hometown was nuked.
I was an hour south in Indianapolis and people around me packed up a cooler (sandwiches to survive a holocaust!) and got on my brother's scooter.
We were on some part of a highway where you had to go north for a minute to head south
... when the nuke hit.
We could see the mushroom cloud on the horizon, and tanks and troops suddenly headed toward us over the plains.
All the people on the highway stopped and screamed and tried to turn around.
Chaos! Then I woke up.
I realize I'm totally unprepared for a serious emergency.
I keep thinking what we should do is buy something in a remote locale, in Peru or New Zealand or upper Canada, as a refuge -- a place to try to go if the shit goes down.
And then write about it for the aliens that would finally find the mess.
I could be big on Beta Gamelgeuse 3. But of course I keep my head down and just blunder through the days like everyone else.
I try to cultivate a solemn skepticism about world events, but is there ever going to be good news again about the future, ever?
Americans in particular are ill-equipped for anything actually threatening them, which is probably exactly why we feel okay about making it into such a sad, ignorant fetish.
The vast majority of species go extinct, but we seem to be hell-bent for it, full throttle. 80% of Americans say we're on "the wrong track."
I grew up in the Cold War, which supposedly involved, according to school, literally trying to kiss your ass goodbye under a doorframe to protect yourself from a nuclear weapon.
I'll bet schools don't even do that now. They don't even acknowledge the possibility. If we're going to be ruled by fear and hopelessness, what are our options for survival?
Are we missing a guiding myth? Or are we making one that is much worse than the ones we used to have?
Ha ha. I hope everyone is having a nice summer and isn't just barely not being eaten by a bear or anything.