"Man acts as though he were the shaper and master of language, while in fact language remains the master of man." -- Heidegger
9.19.2006
The Continuing Erotic Adventures of Allen Ruskin, Headmaster of Educational Aid
Ruskin, the swinish solicitor, was engaged in his morning constitutional with his two great hounds, Cerebus and Baskerville, striding manfully across the law school's lawns and taking in a crisp fall day.
"This is such a crisp fall day," he thought to himself. "I am glad I am taking it in."
His feet led him down the hill and past the newly-coed swimming pool, where many of the new girls were engaged in a class on Admiralty. He immediately spotted Dottie. Her red hair was like a lucious cherry bobbing over a half-submerged vanilla ice cream sundae.
"Miss Gale, could you come over here please?" asked the demonic dean.
Dottie got out of the pool and walked over to where Ruskin was standing. "This place is so much more than Kansas. I don't think I could ever go back there," she said.
"I would hope that you would not. We need girls like you in the study of the law, especially when the trained helper monkeys' cages need freshening up. There won't be any trained helper-monkeys in such a legal backwater as Kansas, I can assure you," said Ruskin, his eyes agog at the aquatic action going on just aft of Dottie's shoulders. The girls' suits were scandals -- his base eye appraised more than one young bare calf.
"Those are quite big dogs, Headmaster Ruskin," said Dottie, the water and cold air accentuating her womanly charms.
Ruskin pried his puerile peepers from the pool's Penelopes. "You can pet them," he said.
"But they are so large and hairy."
"A young lady should never be afraid to pet large and hairy things," leered the amorous advocate.
"Oh my."
"Here -- I think it is time for another tutoring session," said Ruskin, that caddish codger of conjugal carnality. He tied the dogs to a large tree and then pushed Dottie into a clump of nearby rose bushes. She fell back in a swoon. "Oh my!"
But as soon as they were in the bushes, the engorged exhibitionist found himself immdiately emasculated.
"Did you prick yourself?" asked Dottie.
"If I was going to prick myself, I wouldn't be out here with you, would I? What in blue blazes is that infernal cracking sound?" screamed the impetuous idolator. "I can't concentrate with such racket! It sounds like some hedonistic Hottentots having a hellish howdown."
"Oh, that's Alice -- she has a thing for croquet," said Dottie, lying licentiously lusty within the lawn's lucious leaves. "I think I need assault explained to me again."
"In due time," snapped Ruskin. Ruskin stuck his fiendish face flush out of the rose bush. Across the lawn was a pretty blonde girl in a sweet blue dress. "You there! What are you doing? I am trying to tutor a student and I would like some quiet please!"
Alice looked up from red croquet ball she was about to hit across the yard. "I was just smacking balls, sir. I'm sorry, I will do it elsewhere."
"You like smacking balls, do you?" asked Ruskin, a terrible twinkle ticking in the crevice of his eye.
"More than anything."
"Well, why don't you come over here -- my TA and I might be of service in such an exercise! -- And bring that mallet!!"
**** What's next for this Lusty Legal Lucifer -- find out next week!
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6 comments:
OH yes, yes. He's going to wang both of them I just know it! Oh next week, do hurry, do.
It's like I was an jonesing addict, hugging my knees and sweating, and a bag of heroin fell out of the sky.
It's like giant slices of ribaldry placed between two slices of entendre, then toasted with wood-fired debauchery!
Allen Ruskin is hot! I wish he were my tutor.
He could be ...
Stand behind me, T-bone, you delicate flower, and I shall protect you. I'm quite good with a mallet.
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