9.07.2006

This is Why My Corpse Will be Wearing a Chastity Belt -- Because Once My Picture Gets Out ...


(I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP -- FROM THE SMOKING GUN)

SEPTEMBER 6--When Nicholas Grunke last week spotted a newspaper photo of Laura Tennessen, the Wisconsin man apparently became so smitten that he plotted a rendezvous with the 20-year-old woman. But the photo Grunke saw accompanied an August 29 obituary of Tennessen, who died in a motorcycle accident. Undeterred, Grunke allegedly plotted with his twin brother Alex and a friend, 20-year-old Dustin Radke, to rob Tennessen's grave so that he could have sex with her corpse. Details of the trio's degenerate scheme are contained in a criminal complaint filed yesterday in Grant County Circuit Court. A copy of the document can be found here. In a police interview, Radke said that he and the Grunke brothers stopped at a Wal-Mart to buy condoms on their way to the cemetery. The necrophilia plot was disrupted Saturday night when police received a report of a suspicious vehicle near St. Charles Cemetery in Cassville, where Tennessen is buried. When confronted by a cop, an "very nervous" Alex Grunke admitted to the grave robbing scheme, noting that his cohorts were then digging up Tennessen's coffin. When police arrived at the gravesite, Nicholas Grunke and Radke were gone, though cops noticed that a hole had been dug down to the concrete vault encasing the woman's coffin, according to the complaint. Nicholas Grunke and Radke were later arrested while walking about eight miles from the cemetery. The men are each facing sexual assault and theft charges that could land them in prison for more than five years. Though bail has been set at $1000 apiece for the Grunke brothers and $1500 for Radke, the men remain in custody at the Grant County Jail, where the below mug shots were snapped.

11 comments:

TJ said...

At least they were planning on practicing safe necrophilia.

It's funny, I never go to the Smoking Gun and I saw that this morning, too.

Honesty check: The reason I was at the SG was because I was looking for Paris Hilton's mugshots from last night's DUI. I'm . . . so ashamed.

TJ said...

Who's laughing?

Both of you are right, though. We should all practice a little more empathy, try to look at the fallout inside a story rather than just the story itself. Neither of you have found a gallows humor in misfortune? Remarkable.

For the record, I'm certainly not laughing, and I doubt anyone else is here. Accusing us of being just as sick as these three fine upstanding freaks? Probably a little over the top.

And, "callous" to most events that don't directly affect me? It's either that or I spend my days weeping on the couch. Don't you insulate yourselves? You've simply let this one get inside and I hadn't. Perhaps you're directly affected. If so, I'm sorry you have to go through this. See? Now I'm indirectly affected. Isn't the internet wonderful?

Ah, why do I bother? You're probably not coming back here anyway.

El Gordo de Amore said...

Stewart20061 and artgirl929 --

Boy, that was a sensitivity stretch to feel "sick" at the commentary.

Up your butt with a coconut,

El Gordo

Grendel said...

I don't see anything inappropriate in the comments. If making a comment to your pals is as bad as grave robbery and necrophilia, we're all in deep trouble. Let he who has never made a mild, nervous joke among friends in an attempt to fend off the imponderable darkness of the human heart cast the first stone.

(Sound of crickets)

El Gordo de Amore said...

I can't believe anyone would be as callous and disgusting as to say "your attempt at being humorous and trying to impress people is both weak and sad."

I feel sick.

El Gordo de Amore said...

Fine -- you win.

El Gordo de Amore said...

Of course, we could get into the issues surrounding calling someone a retard ...

Grendel said...

My condolences, too, to you and your community. I think the problem here is not that people tend to joke in the face of horror, but that Gordo's post was picked up and linked to by a couple of news blogs, bringing folks here who would never have found their way here otherwise. It's not our intention to cause hurt.

El Gordo de Amore said...

News blogs?

We're news?

Or was it because I cut-and-pasted from The Smoking Gun?

And, if we are news, how come no one picked up my Chinese striptease expose (which is something that is clearly being suppressed by the current Administration -- I have only heard about it in those few articles I posted, and when I call the newspapers mentioned, they act like I'm some delusional loon)?

Damn liberal media.

Grendel said...

If you ever start a pub, it should be called The Delusional Loon.

News blog picked us up: http://www.topix.net/city/cassville-wi

Also many visitors from Bloglines on this one.

the plunge said...

I can't believe I missed this bizarrest of threads. You know I would have posted a phatty philosophical discussion on the eternal struggle between funny and offensive.

The bad feeling here is simply a result of bad luck. Just goes to show why you never refer to someone as ugly in a restaurant.