Blog -- New Opportunity for Anxiety and Paranoia

I wouldn't ask non-writers this question, but does anyone else get a little depressed when his or her posting elicits no comments (or only one from Grendel -- Sample El Gordo thought: "My God, in five days my poem only got a Grendel comment, and he'll comment on anything -- Everyone knows he's a Comment Whore!").

I thought the cover of Biblical Archaelogy was one of the funniest things I've seen in the 21st Century -- and that posting got like one comment (see Grendel, above). I'm still upset, confused, hurt, and feeling a little vulnerable -- possibly in need of a hug.


SER said...

El Gordo, as someone whose blog postings occasionally elicit 0-2 comments, I feel your pain. We writers are sensitive types. I think some posts just attract more comments than others. Gossip is always a big winner. I suggest you remake yourself as a sort of "Us Weekly" of the Earth Goat Journal.

Brando said...

El Gordo, perhaps you have answered your own question. Perhaps if we have nothing substantial more to say than, "Nice Bibical dig!", we feel that we, too, will be labeled Comment Whores, which occupy the nether region between Crack Whore and Sunday Morning Commentor.

However, as a Professional Marketer(tm), I have noticed certain phrases that trigger comments here and at BAF -- the blog equivalents of "Open now -- Free dildo inside!!!"

--Ethan sucks
--Ethan rules (or rulz)
--Tolkien was a (fascist/racist/hack/master storyteller)
--Did you hear that (class member), who is a (fascist/racist/hack/master storyteller), got a huge book deal?
--(Sam Chang/Ben Marcus/Benito Mussolini) (is/is not) ready to be director of the Workshop
--I am secretly in love with (Luke Skywalker/Han Solo/anyone in a Chewbacca costume).
--Here's an article on how (fascists/racists/hacks/master storytellers) write.

and the #1 response trigger...

--Even though we debated this at EVERY party and EVERY function for two years, what did you guys think of the Workshop?

Grendel said...

Couple things:

* I am not a "comment whore." I am a high-class comment call-boy. And I never do the Sunday talk shows.

* I could delete you all with a click. Not just the cyberspace "you," but the entire blog, with everything you ever wrote on it. I don't know if this extends to everything you ever wrote or everything on your hard drive, but I'm looking into it. I call this the "nuclear option."

* No one has posted more things that got 0-2 comments than yours truly -- but don't cry for me, de Amore. The truth is I always loved you.

El Gordo de Amore said...

I fear your threats -- I really do.

dunkeys said...

This thread sucks.

TLB said...

Yes, El Gordo, this is why I don't post more often. That and I know it's only a matter of time before everyone I know realizes I'm really not as smart as I'd like to be.

Pete said...

Not to take this too seriously, but I've noticed that the only way to guarantee comments is to spark a controversy. You can never really tell what that controversy will be, and sometimes it is surprising (see: Tolkien the fascist), but that just makes it more fun.

Generally speaking, posts that are just funny, etc may elicit a smirk (or whatever) but no cyber equivalent. Because really, is "You're funny" something we really want to say in a comment thread? (Gordo, if that's what you want, I'll do it for you ever time if you do it for me everytime. Reciprocal sycophancy has its comforts.

Totally unrelated: I have no idea who some of you are (or, for that matter, if you have any idea who I am). Part of this is that my first year in IC I just stayed home, smoked a lot of cheebs and wrote some shit, and this did less for my social networking than you might expect. Don't get me wrong; I feel warmly toward all of you, in both your cyber and actual manifestations, I'm sure. But if I were able to cross-reference the two, I imagine they would square.

Then again, this blog has a masked ball quality for me. And that's kind of fun.

Lastly, I know that some of you are in Chicago. Let's play some xbox.