This latest rewrite is quite daring and interesting, and your avoidance of the present tense and intransitive verbs is admirable. One wonders, however, why nothing is ever pluralized or possessive - e.g., "He lifted an eye to make certain that the bridge remained intact, and then touched it with a hand."* Also, why did you start calling the character Sissy "Iy"?** I find it hard to pronounce, and Naomi Watts won't want to play her in the film.
Yours, Gillian
--- * Please note that I, SER, don't think TLB would ever have such a bad sentence in her book, even if it used possessive pronouns and pluralized the appropriate words.
** Please also note that there is not a character named Sissy in the book, as far as I know.
I will rename a character Sissy in your honor, though when you play her in the movie you may have to call her Iy, which may sound like "Aii." As long as you remember me in your awards speeches.
Grendel:
Thank you, but it's high time I learned to work at home, as painfully distracting as that is. I hope you're feeling better.
Ian, I am afeared for where you might find K, but I hope you do so soon. I don't think it's coincidence at all, especially since you and I have the same agent. Nefarious psychic forces must be at work to keep us from work.
4 comments:
Notes from your editor:
Becky,
This latest rewrite is quite daring and interesting, and your avoidance of the present tense and intransitive verbs is admirable. One wonders, however, why nothing is ever pluralized or possessive - e.g., "He lifted an eye to make certain that the bridge remained intact, and then touched it with a hand."* Also, why did you start calling the character Sissy "Iy"?** I find it hard to pronounce, and Naomi Watts won't want to play her in the film.
Yours,
Gillian
---
* Please note that I, SER, don't think TLB would ever have such a bad sentence in her book, even if it used possessive pronouns and pluralized the appropriate words.
** Please also note that there is not a character named Sissy in the book, as far as I know.
TLB, we have a laptop you can borrow if you like.
SER:
I will rename a character Sissy in your honor, though when you play her in the movie you may have to call her Iy, which may sound like "Aii." As long as you remember me in your awards speeches.
Grendel:
Thank you, but it's high time I learned to work at home, as painfully distracting as that is. I hope you're feeling better.
Love,
TLB
Ian, I am afeared for where you might find K, but I hope you do so soon. I don't think it's coincidence at all, especially since you and I have the same agent. Nefarious psychic forces must be at work to keep us from work.
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