My career as a satirist just ended

How the hell am I supposed to compete with this?

Hannidate 2005: The Sean Hannity dating board.

That's right: right-wing hack, host of Faux News's "Hannity and Apologizing Liberal Speedbump," and alleged boot licker* Sean Hannity hosts a dating board "where you may find your perfect match through Hannity style romance." My guess is that Hannity style romance involves firing twin 9mm pistols at pictures of the Clintons while getting pegged by Ann Coulter.

The participants are about as dark as an Alaskan summer and all look like they just got off work at Mel's Diner. However, it is nice to see a personals section that embraces Christian values, like ignoring Jesus's prohibition against divorce and remariage.

*alleged by me, with apologies to boot lickers everywhere.


dunkeys said...

My wife used to work at Mel's, dude.

TLB said...

Brando's wife used to work at McDonald's...so he's lower on the food chain than Mel's Diner.

dunkeys said...

No sweat. There's a funny story, actually -- Hannity's cousin hooked my wife and I up, years ago. So the Mel's comment was weirdly apropos.

That's not true at all. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm slapping myself with a three-day blog ban.