Winter, you drove me to this.

For those of you no longer in the Midwest, you do not understand the wintry wrath that has been visited upon us. Jesus Christ, it's neverending. It snows, then becomes bitterly cold, then warms up slightly so that the bottom layer of snow melts a little, then it snows again as another arctic blast (as seems to be the term preferred by meteorologists) blows through, leaving bitterly cold air in its wake and a layer of ice on every piece of pavement. The other day, it was 25 in the morning, and I thought to myself, "Oh, it's spring! I should walk to work. Why did I bother wearing these stifling gloves?" and my neighbor was waiting at the bus stop in a skirt. Then it went down to -8 again. I used to think it was cold when the snot in my nose would freeze. Now, I gauge the coldness by how long it takes the snot in my nose to freeze. This morning (-5), that took about four seconds. Not quite as fast (two seconds) as the day it was -13 when I left the house.

Anyway, my point is that winter has made the decision to move a bit easier. My husband accepted a job back in the Bay Area (Oaktown, bitches), so we'll be moving there. He will move in March, and I'll move with our young spud and dog in June or so. And then we'll hemorrhage money and die in an earthquake, but AT LEAST MY SNOT WILL BE FLOWING FREELY.


T-bone said...

Clearly, you need more alcohol. I find that after a few drinks -5 is nothing, even in my strapless mini-dress. Heels are also useful when walking on ice.

T-bone said...

Oh, and we will totally miss you.

gillymonster said...

So, when did my wife become an Iowa undergrad on a Thursday night? And where was I when it happened?

SER! Oakland! If I hadn't been trying (albeit half-heartedly) to get up out of this town for the past 9 months, I would feel quite abandoned.